Elden Ring

When the first footage of Elden Ring came out, it was only natural to assume this would be the glorious main character of the game. The brave clay boi on a quest to acquire ancient jewelry:

I couldn’t play Elden Ring because my system couldn’t run it, but I was absolutely certain the clay bro had an insatiable appetite for antique accesories.

Keep any antediluvian bijous at your own peril.

I eventually was able to run this famous videosgame and since I have spent many hours playing it, I decided to chronicle the experience. 

CW: Might contain spoilers about monsters  and the often amusing violence inflicted by/upon them.

Adorbable

I played through the ninja game before getting around to Antique Bijouterie and it has reshaped my approach to facing big scary weaponsmans.

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Adorbable

Aged Toroid features many enemies who fail to realize that the more they attack, the more chances they give to counter-stab.

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Adorbable

Sometimes in Hoary Halo the enemies don’t show up immediately but once they do, you know what time it is.

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Adorbable

Many enemies in Antediluvian Band have really long wind-up animations and I highly suspect this is because they are trying to delay the inevitable as much as possible.

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Adorbable

One-armed Wolf led me to believe that any enemy could be parried, but alas that is not the case in Senescent Loop.

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Adorbable

I’m not a fan of summons in Geriatric Hoop but if a boss can’t be parried my heart’s not really in it so I might as well let someone else deal with it.

PS: Artistic liberties were taken, grafty-boi doesn’t actually tell you he can’t be parried. You find out the old fashioned way: by trying unsuccessfully for an hour then looking it up on the wiki.

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Adorbable

I suspect anyone playing Venerable Doughnut expects this sort of thing even from the most innocuous interactions.

PS: Artistic liberties were taken once again, I only noticed the herp about 12 hours later.

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