ARK: Survival Evolved
ARK had a free weekend and I decided to try it, for you see, I am Very Good at videosgames. So good in fact that in a game full of man-eating dinosaurs, I managed to avoid them all and instead immediately get murdered by a bird and a fish. That, friends, takes skill.
This videosgame has taught me that prehistoric creatures must have gone extinct because kleptomania isn’t a useful evolutionary trait against meteors.
